五年级英语笑话
履约-录入
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his
mother for two cents.
gave you
yesterday?
why are you so interested in
the old woman?
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。
“你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。“再
给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Nest and Hair
My
sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by
one of her pupils that a
bird had built its
nest in the tree outside the classroom.
Notes:
(1) inform
v.告诉
(2) nest n.窝;巢
(3) description n.描述
(4) encourage v.鼓励
(5) resemble v. 相似;类似
18.鸟窝与头发
我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了
个窝。
“是什么鸟呢?”我姐姐问她。
“我没看到鸟儿,老师,只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。
“那么,你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗?”我姐姐鼓励她道。
“哦,老师,就像你的头发一样。”
I've Just
Bitten My Tongue
Notes:
(1) poisonous adj.有毒的
(2) Cause
I've just bitten my tongue 因为我刚咬了自己的舌头。 句中 Cause
是 Because 的缩略形式。
我刚咬破自己的舌头
“我们有毒吗?”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。
“是的,亲爱的,”她回答说,“你问这个干什么?”
“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”
A Woman Who Fell
It was rush
hour and I was dashing to a train in New York
City's Grand Central
Terminal - As I neared
the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up
from
behind, lost her footing on the smooth
marble floor and slid onto her back. Her
momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before
I could help her, however,
she had scrambled
up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and
said,
摔倒的女人
上下班高峰期,我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶
一趟火车。接近门口,一位肥胖
的中年妇女从后面冲过来,没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚,仰面滑
倒了。
她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她,她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下,
对我挤
了一下眉,说道:“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗?”
英语笑话(一)
Q: What's the difference between a monkey
and a flea?
A: A monkey can have fleas,
but a flea can't have monkeys.
猴子会和跳蚤有什么不
同呢?你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之
外呢,那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤,而跳蚤身上
却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意
思吧?
Q: How can you most
irritate a farmer?
A: By treading
on his corn?
如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物,他肯定会生气的;而如果你踩
了农夫脚底的鸡
眼,他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米谷物”,也有“鸡眼”的意思。
Q: Which is the strongest creature in the
world?
A: The snail. It carries its house
on its back.
因为snail(蜗牛)的后背上总是背着一所房子,所以说蜗
牛是世界上最强壮的
生物是不足为奇的。你说呢?
Q: What do
people do in a clock factory?
A: They
make faces all day.
一看到make faces这个短语,你可千
万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼
脸呀!因为除了这个意思以外,它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟
面。
Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from
walking in his sleep?
A: Keep him awake.
怎样才能不让梦游者(sleepwalker)梦游(walk in his slee
p)呢?最简单的方
法就是不让他睡觉。虽然这不是治疗方法,但如果让梦游者醒着呢,他的确就不会去梦游了。
英语笑话(二)
He is really
somebody
-- My uncle has 1000 men under
him.
-- He is really somebody. What does
he do?
-- A maintenance man in a
cemetery.
他真是一个大人物
--
我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的?
-- 墓地守墓人。
英语笑话(三)
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back
to China from her visit to her
daughter in the
States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US
dollars her
daughter gave her. At the bank
counter, the clerk checked each note carefully
to see if the money was real. It made the old
lady out of patience.
At last she could
not hold any more, uttering.
money. They are
real US dollars. They are directly from
America.
它们是从美国直接带来的
一位中国老妇人在美国看望
女儿回来不久,到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。
在银行柜台,银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票,看是
否有假。
这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦,最后实在忍耐不住说:“相信我,先生,也请你相<
br>信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元,它们是从美国直接带来的。”
英语笑话(四)my
little dog can't read
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my
dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement
in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use,
my little dog can't read.
我的狗不识字
布朗夫人:哦,
亲爱的,我把珍爱的小狗给丢了!
史密斯夫人:可是你该在报纸上登广告啊!
布朗夫人:没有用的,我的小狗不认识字。”
英语笑话(五)Bring me
the winner
-- Waiter, this lobster has
only one claw.
-- I'm sorry, sir.
It must have been in a fight.
-- Well,
bring me the winner then.
给我那个打赢的吧
-- 服务员,
这个龙虾只有一只爪。
--
对不起,先生,这只肯定打过架了。
-- 哦, 那给我那个打赢的吧。
英语笑话(六)The mean man's party.
The
notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a
party. Explaining to a
friend how to find his
apartment, he said,
with your elbow. When the
door open, push with your foot.
吝啬鬼请客
一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在
向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家
时说:“你上到五楼,找中间那个门,然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之
后,
再用你的脚把门推开。”
“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢?”
“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪,你总不会空着手来吧?”吝啬鬼回答。