双12事变-

英语幽默小笑话大全

kiss

At a dinner party, the speaker, who was the guest of honor, was about to deliver a

speech when his wife sitting at the other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper

with the word

The guest seated next to the speaker said,

her send you a 'KISS' before you begin your speech.

The speaker smiled and explained,

stands for 'Keep It Short, Stupid.'

teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class

by saying,

Little Johnny then stood up.

The teacher said,

一个老师 在对学生们讲心理学，

“谁认为自己蠢就站起来”她一开始就说。

小约翰尼站了起来。

“你认为你很蠢吗，小约翰尼”老师问。

“不是的，老师，我只是不喜欢看你一个人站着。

”

great man

Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a great

man if he were still alive today

Student: Of course. He must be a great man, for so far nobody has lived to over 400

years.

一名伟人

老师：如果莎士比亚还活着，他会是一名伟人吗

学生：当然。因为到目前为止，还没有人活到

400

多岁。

4Two Cute dogs

A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper,

1

your dog bite

the dog and the dog bites him.

bite!

: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch

Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be

much worse.

警察：有人抢你的手表时，你为什么不呼救呢

男子：要是我张口的话，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。那就更糟了。

little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.

Barking dogs don't bite

proverb, too

一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。

“没有关系，

”一位先生说，

“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗 ：

‘吠狗不咬人。

’

”

“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗”

and Ass

Professor Laurie of Glasgow put this notice on his door

：

“

Professor Laurie will not

meet

his

classes

today

．

”

A

student

，

after

reading

the

notice

，

rubbed

out

the

“

c

”

．

Later

Professor Laurie came along

，

and entering into the spirit of the joke

，

rubbed out the

“

l

”

．

格拉斯哥的劳里教授在门上贴了这样一个通知：< /p>

“劳里教授今天不会他的班。

”

一个学生读了

通知后，擦掉了字母“

c

”

。

后来劳里教授 来了，也想开开玩笑，他擦掉了字母“

l

”

。

matter

which

girl

he

brought

home

，

the

young

man

found

disapproval

from

his

mother

．

A

friend gave him advice

．

“

Find a girl just like your mother

—

then she's bound to like

her

．

So the young man searched and searched

，

and finally found the girl

．

He told his

friendly adviser

：

“

Just like you said

，

I found a girl who loo ked

，

talked

，

dressed

，

and even cooked like mother

．

And just as you said

，

mother liked her

”

“