如何治愈心碎 中英文演讲稿
-
At some point in our lives, almost everyone
of us will have our heart broken.
在我们生命中的某些时刻，基本上每个人都心碎过。
My
patient
Kathy
planned
her
wedding
when
she
was
in
middle
school.
She
would
meet
her
future
husband by age 27, get engaged a year later and
get married a year after that. But when
Kathy turned 27, she didn't find a
husband. She found a lump in her breast.
我的病人卡西还在中学时就规划了
她的婚礼。她想着能在
27
岁遇见自己的丈夫，一年后他
们会订婚，再一年后结婚。但当卡西二十七岁时，她并没有找到老公。她找到的，是乳房的
肿块。
She
went through many months of harsh chemotherapy and
painful surgeries, and then just as
she
was ready to jump back into the dating world, she
found a lump in her other breast and had
to do it all over again. Kathy
recovered, though, and she was eager to resume her
search for a
husband as soon as her
eyebrows grew back you're going on first dates in
New York City,
you need to be able to
express a wide range of emotions. (laught)
她经历了几个月艰难的化疗，以及痛苦的手术，接着，就在她
准备要约会相亲的生活时，她
在另一边的乳房中也发现了肿块，
他必须重新经受一遍之前的所有痛苦。
不过，
卡西恢复了，
她很期待能够继续寻找自己的真命天子，
她打算等眉毛长回来就马上
行动。
要知道，
你想在
纽约约会，你需
要会用眉毛来表达丰富的情感。
Soon
afterwards,
she
met
Rich
and
fell
inlove.
The
relationship
was
everything
she
hoped
it
would be. Six months later, after a
lovely weekend in New England, Rich made
reservations at
their
favorite
romantic
restaurant.
Kathy
knew
he
was
going
to
propose,
and
she
could
barely
contain her
excitement.
不久之后，她遇见了雷奇，并且坠
入爱河。这段感情特别完美，就像她所期待的那样。六个
月之后，他们在新英格兰度过了
一个美好的周末，雷奇订了他们最喜欢的浪漫餐厅。卡西
知道他要求婚了，她兴奋难耐。
But Rich did not propose to Kathy that
night. He broke up with her. As deeply as he cared
for
Kathy - and he did - he simply
wasn't in love.
但那晚，雷奇并没有向卡
西求婚。他和她分手了。尽管他对卡西的关心很深
──他真的关
心过──
但他就是没有爱上她。
Kathy was shattered. Her heart was
truly broken, and she now faced yet another
recovery. But
five months after the
breakup, Kathy still couldn't stop thinking about
Rich. Her heart was still
very much
broken. The question is: Why? Why was this
incredibly strong and determined woman
unable
to
marshal
the
same
emotional
resources
that
got
her
through
four
years
of
cancer
treatments? Why do so many of us
flounder when we're trying to recover from
heartbreak? Why
do
the
same
coping
mechanisms
that
get
us
through
all
kinds
of
life
challenges
fail
us
so
miserably when our heart gets broken?
卡西很震惊。她的心真的碎了，
她现
在又要面临一次复原。但在分手后五个月，卡西仍然无
法不去想雷奇。
< br>她的心仍然支离破碎。
问题是：
为什么？为什么这个极度
坚强且坚定的女性，
没有办法去整理这些和她四年癌症治疗同样的情绪来源？为什么有这
么多人
试着从心碎中
复原时，都那么
挣扎？为什么明明这些处理机制
能帮我们走过各种人生中的困
难，却在我
们的心碎时刻，完全派不上用场？
02
In over 20 years of private practice, I
have seen people of every age and background face
every
manner
of
heartbreak,
and
what
I've
learned
is
this:
when
your
heart
is
broken,
the
same
instincts
you
ordinarily rely on
will
time
and
again
lead
you
down
the
wrong
path.
You
simply
cannot
trust what your mind is telling you.
<
/p>
我私人执业的时间超过二十年，我见过各种年龄层、各种背景的人
面临各种心碎，而我所
学到的是：当你的心碎了，你平常所仰赖
的那些直觉会一而再，再而三地
引导你走向错误
的路。你就是不能相信你的大脑告诉你的。
For example, we know from studies of
heartbroken people that having a clear
understanding of
why
the
relationship
ended
is
really
important
for
our
ability
to
move
on.
Yet
time
and
again,
when
we are offered a simple and honest explanation
like the one Rich offered Kathy, we reject it.
Heartbreak creates such dramatic
emotional pain, our mind tells us the cause must
be equally
dramatic.
比如，我们从关于心碎的人的研究得知，清楚了解为什么感情
关系会结束
对于我们能否继
续
< br>走下去是很重要的。但，一而再，再而三，我们得到的是一个简单且诚实的解释，就像
雷奇给卡西的解释，
而我们不愿接受。
心碎会造成非常戏剧
性的痛苦，
我们的大脑告诉我们，
它的成因一定也是同等戏剧性
的。
And that gut
instinct is so powerful, it can make even the most
reasonable and measured of us
come
up
with
mysteries
and
conspiracy
theories
where
none
exist.
Kathy
became
convinced
something must have happened during her
romantic get away with Rich that soured him on the
relationship, and she became obsessed
with figuring out what that was.
那种直觉十分强大，
甚至会让最理性
、
最慎重的人，
都会想出些根本不存在的谜团和阴谋论。
卡西深信，
在她和雷奇浪漫之旅的过程中
<
/p>
一定发生了什么事，
导致他对这段感情感到不快，
而她变得执着在要想出原因是什么。
And
so
she
spent
countless
hours
going
through
every
minute
of
that
weekend
in
her
mind,
searching her memory
for clues that were not there. Kathy's mind
tricked her into initiating this
wild
goose chase. But what compelled her to commit toit
for so many months?
于是，
她花了无数小时，
在脑中回想那个周末的每一分钟，
在记忆中寻找根本不存在的线索。
卡西的大脑骗了她，
让她
开始了这场徒劳的追寻。
但，
是什么强迫她投入这么多个月的时
间？
Heartbreak
is
far
more
insidious
than
we
realize.
There
is
a
reason
we
keep
going
down
one
rabbit hole after
another, even when we know it's going to make us
feel worse. Brain studies have
shown
that the withdrawal of romantic love activates the
same mechanisms in our brain that get
activated when addicts are withdrawing
from substances like cocaine oropioids. Kathy was
going
through with drawal.
心碎比我们知道的
还要更会在暗中滋生。这就是我们会重蹈覆彻的原因，即使我们知道这
么做
会让我们感觉更糟糕。关于大脑的研究指出，脱离一段爱情会启动
的大脑机制，和成
瘾者要脱离古柯碱
或鸦片这类物质时是一样的。
And since she could not have the heroin
of actually being with Rich, her unconscious mind
chose
the methadone ofher memories with
him. Her instincts told her she was trying to
solve amystery,
but what she was
actually doing was getting her fix. This is what
makes heartbreak so difficult to
heal.
Addicts know they're addicted. They know when
they're shooting up.
卡西在经历的就是脱离。她的海洛因就是
和雷奇在一起，但她得不到，她无意识的大脑选
择用
她和他的记忆当作止痛药，她的直觉告诉她，她是在试着解一个谜团，但她真正在做
的事，是给自己注射毒品。就是这样，让心碎很难治愈。成瘾者知道自己有瘾。他们在注射
毒品时是有自觉的。
03
But
heartbroken people do not. But you do now. And if
your heart is broken, you cannot ignore
that. You have to recognize that,
ascompelling as the urge is, with every trip down
memory lane,
every
text
you
send,
every
second
you
spend
stalking
your
ex
on
social
media,
you
are
just
feeding your addiction, deepening your
emotional pain and complicating your recovery.
但心碎的人没有。但你现在知道了。如果你的心碎了，你不能
忽略它。尽管冲动很难抗拒，
你仍必须了解，
你每一次的回想，
你发出的每一则讯息，
你花在社交媒体上追踪前任情人的
每一秒钟，你都只是在满足你的瘾，加深你情绪上的痛苦，让你的复原变得更复杂。
Getting over
heartbreak is not a journey. It's a fight, and
your reason is your strongest weapon.
There is no breakup explanation that's
going
to feel satisfying. No
rationale can take away the
pain you
feel. So don't search for one, don't wait for one,
just accept the one you were offered or
make up one yourself and then put the
question to rest, because you need that closure to
resist
the addiction. And you need
something else as well: you have to be willing to
let go, to accept
that
it's
over.
Otherwise,
your
mind
will
feed
on
your
hope
and
set
you
back.
Hope
can
be
incredibly
destructive when your heart is broken.
度过心碎并不是一趟旅程。它是场战斗，而你的理智
是你最强的武器。没有任何分手解释
会让人感到满意。没有逻辑理由能带
走
你所感受到的痛苦。所以不用去找理由了，不要再
等理由了，
就接受你得到的理由吧，
不然就自己
编一个，
然后就让这个问题安息，
因为你需
要那个结束，来对抗你的瘾。你还需要别的：你得要愿意放手，接受感情已经结束。不然，