英语短文笑话(带翻译)教案资料
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2021年01月31日 16:17
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英
语
短
文
笑
带
翻
译
)
话
(
1
、
How much English can you speak?
unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He
arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew
his way around. What's more, he only speaks a few
words of English.
The judge looked at the defendant and asked,
much English can you speak?
The defendant looked up and said,
wallet!
中文翻译
法官先 生，我的当事人被指控偷窃，这是多么不公
正啊。他一周前才来到纽约，几乎不认路。而且，他
只会说几个英语单词。
法官看了看被告，问道：
你会说多少英文？
< br>被告抬起头，说：
把你的钱包给我！
2
A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more
than men, showed her a study which indicated that men
use on average only 15000 words a day, whereas women
use 30000 words a day. She thought about this for a
while and then told her husband that women use twice as
many words as men because they have to repeat
everything they say.
He said,
丈夫给妻子看了一 项调查结果，为了向她证明女人比
男人啰嗦。研究表明男人平均每天使用
15000
个 字，
而女人每天使用
30000
个。
妻子想了一会儿说，女人每天 说的字数是男人的两
倍，因为她们必须重复已经说过的话。
他问：
什么？
3
Boy: Is this seat empty?
Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
男孩：这个座位是空的么？
女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。
4
、
mother in the kitchen.
He is crying because I won't give him any.
him finish that.
汤姆，你弟弟怎么了？
妈妈在厨房里问。
他在
哭。
没事儿，妈妈 ，
汤姆答道。
我在吃我的蛋糕。他
哭是因为我不给他吃。
< br>
他已经吃完自己的了么？
是的。
我帮他吃完时，他也 哭了。
2009-6-7
A guy says to his friend,
in my pocket.
The friends says,
of them?
The first guys says,
of them!
路人甲对路人乙说，
猜猜我兜里有几个子儿？
路人乙说：
我猜对了，你能给我一个不？
路人甲说：
你要猜对了，我两 个全部给你！
2009-6-6
研究生和本科生的区别
class,
engineering course.
undergraduates respond 'Good afternoon.' But the
graduate students just write it down.
一 个教师在研究生工程学课堂上说：
我一眼就能看
出来哪些是本科生，哪些是研究生。< br>
我说
'
下午好
'
的时候，本科生回答
'
下午 好
'
，而研究生则把这句话
记在本子上。
2009-6-5
Dad: Tom, please tell me, which month has 28 days?
Tom: Every month.
爸爸：告诉我汤姆，哪个月有
28
天呢？
汤姆：每个月都有啊！
2009-6-4making faces
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the
playground, Ms Smith stopped to gently reprimand the
child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said,
faces, my face would freeze and stay like that
looked up and replied,
you weren't warned.
史密斯小姐发现她的一名学生在操场上向别人做鬼
脸，便去轻责他。
这位主日学校的老师甜甜地微笑着，说：
博比，我
小的时候，有人告诉我如果 我做鬼脸，我的脸就会僵
硬，永远都那么丑。
博比抬头看了看老师，说：
史密斯小姐，你可别说
没人警告过你啊。
2009-6-3
A guy goes to visit his grandma and he brings his friend
with him.
While he's talking to his grandma, his friend starts eating
the peanuts on the coffee table, and finishes them off.
As they're leaving, his friend says to his grandma,
She says,
the chocolate off.
一名男子带着朋友去探望他的祖母。
当他和祖母聊天时，他的朋友开始吃咖啡桌上放的花
生，并把花生都给吃光了。
他们离开时，他的朋友对祖母说
:
谢谢您的花生。
结果祖母说
:
唉！自从我牙齿掉光后，我就只能吮掉
花生豆外层的巧克力了。
2009-6-2
A father was trying to teach his son the evils of alcohol.
He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in
a glass of whiskey. The worm in the water lived, while
the one in the whiskey curled up and died.
you?
not have worms.
一位父亲打算让自己的儿子知道酒精有多么可怕。
他把分别把两只虫子 放到一杯清水和一杯威士忌里做
对比。清水里虫子安然无恙，结果威士忌里的虫子蜷
缩了几下就 挂掉了。
所以，儿子啊，
父亲问道，
得出什么结 论？
恩，这说明，你只要喝酒的话，肚里就不会长虫
了！
2009-6-1
Looking very unhappy, a poor man entered a doctor's
consulting-room.
penny about a month ago.
waited so long? Why don't you come to me on the day
you swallowed it?
didn't need the money so badly then.
中文翻译：
一个看起来很难受的穷人走进大夫的诊室。
大夫！
他说，
帮帮我！一个月前我吞了一分硬< br>币！
天哪，
大夫说，
早干嘛去了 ？你当时怎么不来
看？
实话告诉您吧，大夫，
穷 人说，
我当时还不缺
钱！
2009-5-31
Boy: Hi, didn't we go on dates before? Onec or twice?
Girl: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake
twice.
男孩：嗨，我们之前是不是约会过，是一次还是两
次，我忘记了。
女孩：应该只有一次吧，我从不犯两次同样的错误。
2009-5-30
In an entrance examination of a conservatory of music, a
teacher asked one of the boys,
important physiological quality of a musician?
Beethoven was deaf?
在一 次音乐学院的入学考试中，老师问其中一个男
孩：
音乐家最重要的生理素质是什么？< br>
耳聋，
男孩答道。
胡说！
老师气愤地说。